She didn’t know how to take it , if she should cry , get furious or stay calm . She just couldn’t figure out how to take it . After deep introspection she looked into the mirror and smiled to herself “ Niharika , its alright . There’s nothing to worry about . Why areyou getting so low ?? So what if he’s getting married , take it easy . That’s life . You are the best and you deserve the best . A coward like him doesn’t deserve to be even in your contact list . ” That day she learnt the most important lesson of her life that
Love is only part of life and not the heart of life
Next few weeks and she tried building up the pieces of hers into herself . It was all over . But the flickering spirit of moving on was still alive . Deep in her heart , she was shattered , she resigned from the company , had never ending tears in her eyes , used to stay in her room . It was as if the world around has come to a halt , as if everything around has stopped altogether .
She couldn’t take it anymore . She asked her parents that she wished to take a break . She wanted to move away from everything not because she’s quitting but for the reason that she didn’t want herself to get a chance to give up . She moved to a new place and joined a multinational company . She took off her glasses and started wearing lenses . She shifted from her traditional suits to the trending jeans and tops , opened her hair from plates , felt the air around and took a deep breath . It was a new life to her . She was as a mermaid diving deep into the sea and swirling back to the surface , taking twists and turns around the sea . It was the time when she actually felt that she’s gorgeous . She didn’t want to think about what all happened . She just wanted to feel the essence of present moment . It was so lovely like a dream changing a flower girl into duchess . She was at peace .
One fine day , she found a guy sitting in the cafeteria , was in some thought process she guessed . She said “ hello ! such a deep thinking , is all ok ” and she came to know he , Ronit , was the operation manger and was thinking about work load . She again found herself stupid enough that a person was casually in a thought and she was as if something is serious .
Days passed , she happened to cross him every now and then . She used to wish him a good day and he too used to respond well . God knows if he could feel the same but Niharika could listen to the bells of her heart ringing and she was “ Niharika , are you serious . Don’t you remember your past . After such a worst experience , you are thinking of a relationship again . Are you nuts ?? Just shut up your heart and listen to me , you are here to work for your future and to to fall/rise in love again . So better scratch this emotion out of your mind and complete your targets . Because gorgeous , good morning , you have work to do . So wake up ” . She was listening to herself as a kid while as a girl she ignored everything . She knew that its about being practical but what’s the logic of crushing her emotions . Not everybody is the same and what if he’s the love of her life . Above all
The only thing we regret at the end is the chances we didn’t take
With all the reasoning in favour of being in love again , she silenced her mind and asked her heart to carry on .
Gradually Ronit and Niharika started sharing a unique bond . They never talked too much , a big thank you to Ronit’s busy schedule and the moment they used to meet , they need not had to talk much , credit goes to their connection . Niharika was not sure what exactly was from his side but she could find his eyes talking to her . While shaking hands , she felt like as if he was saying “ Niharika , you are special , very special ” . It was an orchestra playing around her . She could feel the girl in her getting beautiful , confident , free from all the thinking process and loving everything about what was happening .
One fine day , she just couldn’t keep her emotions to herself and messaged him “ Ronit , do you have someone special in your life ” and he immediately called up “ Niharika , what made you think that . Ive good friends , loving and caring family but someone special ?? Nop there’s isn’t any in the way your are asking . How about you ?? Who’s the lucky guy ?? ” Niharika was silent , she wanted to speak up her heart and come up with everything she has been through but didn’t find Rohan worthy enough to talk about . She didn’t share anything and asked “ can we meet someday ??? ” He agreed and they finalized a time and to her greatest despair he didn’t come . Her dreams , her feelings , thoughts , emotions , the ‘ love ’ it all got crushed . She was feeling as if he was the new version of Rohan to teach her
That its life and its best to accept the unexpected even if its completely
opposite to what you expected
Next day and she messaged him “ Ronit , I don’t think it will work . You and I are completely different , my expectations and hopes are something which I don’t think will let us go smooth ” . Few minutes later she saw him and he ignored . She knew he must have read the message . And she too ignored . She found him with one of her team mates sitting and enjoying the cup of coffee .
And the practical girl in her laughed at her , mockingly said “ see , that is why I wanted you not to get into this because I know you start expecting and
Expectations hurt
I told you he is a professional , a socialized person , why will he be interested in you ?? My child ! it was just an illusion . Its over Niharika . ” This time it was the girl in her attentively listening while the kid argued “ its too early to frame an opinion . You didn’t even spend time together . Atleast talk to him ” . But it was too late , he started ignoring Niharika completely and she could understand that it was her mistake . She should have maintained patience . But never mind . she thought of going back home as her parents were missing their only daughter . This time she didn’t join any company but felt like staying at home for sometime to figure out what next . Her father suggested her to prepare for competitive exams but she wasn’t that much confident about her self . She took admission in B.Ed through distance education and started preparing for her competitive exams as well .
Could say hard luck , she couldn’t crack any of them not by a very big margin but sometimes by 1 or sometimes by 2 marks . Her B.Ed completed and the process of appearing in competitive exams continued . She started losing her self confidence . For her it was as if twists and turns so far were not enough to break down her spirit that she was introduced to the world of failure . Negativity , despair , pessimism was what she then surrounded by . She was all in darkness , left with no hope and desires for future . It was all gloomy . Her spirit crashed . She was hollow inside . Her self discriminatory thoughts were such that she felt being killed in pieces inside-out . In the darkness , she could see the dark streaks of questions “ why me ?? what positive should I see in it ?? If experiences build us then why am I feeling broken ?? Is this the end ?? Should I give up ?? ” For the first time as expected , the rays of deep despair focused on her to convince “ yes , Niharika , you must give up ” . And she entered a phase when her mind stopped working , she couldn’t even read and write , even holding a pen was then difficult . It was as if her memory was completely washed away . Her spirit was at the end and her eyes were witnessing that in silent .
TO BE CONTINUED …..
lifeanexperience 